Archive for the Bridezillas! Category

The Runaway Bridezilla

Posted in Bridezillas! on April 17, 2009 by djscottshirley

Perhaps one reason I never get Bridezillas is that I weed them out early.

I like to meet with brides and grooms in person, to get to know more about them, about their likes and dislikes, and about their vision for their perfect wedding. By getting to know them a bit, I can better personalize their entertainment, and try to come up with creative ideas to make their reception reflect their style and personalities.

For some people, it’s easy. And for most engaged couples, their vision for their wedding is similar, even if they don’t agree on every detail. Usually, the groom will defer to the bride on issues of decorating, and couples rarely have major disagreements.

This one did!

From the beginning, something did not seem right about this couple. The groom seemed content, but the bride did not seem very happy, and she argued with almost everything her fiancé said. This didn’t look like the beginning of a happy marriage.

It was evident they had done very little planning for their wedding, which was only 4 weeks away. They had not yet mailed invitations, still disagreeing over how many and whom to invite. I began to get the feeling that this bride was in no hurry to get hitched!

As we discussed the sequence of events for their reception, the bride suddenly insisted that she wanted a formal receiving line. This was a surprise to the groom, who questioned the idea, and I suddenly found myself in the midst of warring factions!

I tried to tactfully present the pros and cons of having a receiving line* from a neutral position, but it was clear that something was bothering this bride besides the planning details.

Suddenly she got up and announced she was leaving, and was tired of the groom picking on her! Before anyone could say a word, she was gone – Runaway Bride!

She couldn't get out fast enough!

She couldn't get out fast enough!

The poor embarrassed groom got up, apologized politely, and explained that he had to go, since he was her ride. I told him I understood, and he left. The poor guy! He was like a deer in the headlights, not expecting this at all.

But it gets worse! Ten minutes later he called on the phone, even more embarrassed, and asked if he had left his wallet in my office. I looked, and sure enough, it was on the floor under the desk. He said he would be back in ten minutes to retrieve it.

That must have been ten minutes in Hell with Bridezilla!

I never heard from them again, but I expect to get a call from the groom, just as soon as he finds another bride.

My perfect “No Bridezillas” record remains intact.

* Receiving line Pros: elegant, traditional, important if Dad is running for elected office; Cons: time consuming, can be intimidating to guests and socially awkward.


Posted in Bridezillas!, Weddings! on March 23, 2009 by djscottshirley

Definition of Bridezilla (a portmanteau of bride and Godzilla) is a generic term used to describe a difficult, unpleasant, perfectionist bride who leaves aggravated family, friends and bridal vendors in her wake. A bridezilla is obsessed with her wedding as her perfect day and will disregard the feelings of the family, bridesmaids and even her groom in her quest for the perfect wedding. (source: Wikipedia.)

Bridesmaids often feel the sting of Bridezilla's rage!

Bridesmaids often feel the sting of Bridezilla's rage!

The clinical diagnosis of acquired situational narcissism may be appropriate for the condition.

The earliest use of the term was in 1995, and it has been made universally popular by the cable TV program Bridezillas.

Every time I do a Bridal Show, I am asked if I ever work with Bridezillas. And my answer is always an emphatic “NO.”

Why is this? I certainly know a lot of wedding vendors who tell Bridezilla stories. And more than a few whom I have worked with have had bad experiences with the same brides that gave me no problem at all.

So what gives?

Well, let me propose a different definition: Bridezilla is a bride who is overcome by stress because she is not getting what she really wants.

Put yourself in her painfully tight shoes. A bride is pulled in different directions by well-meaning and sometimes selfishly motivated family and friends. She is torn between the vision of her dream wedding, and the practical reality of budget limitations and parental control. She is confused by the overwhelming number of choices she must make.

In my entertainment business, we custom-tailor each event to meet that bride’s preferences. We never try to force a wedding to fit into a certain mold. This is a recent trend among wedding Emcees, but I have always done weddings this way. My latest brochure uses the phrase “Your Wedding…Your Way.”

Therein lies the secret, I believe, to Bridezilla Prevention. When the bride is getting her way, and receiving full attention and cooperation from her DJ (or planner, photographer, caterer, florist, or decorator, etc.) she is content and tantrum-free.

Don’t get me wrong, as I have worked with some mighty stubborn brides, several who were obsessive-compulsive, and one who was even bipolar manic-depressive. In a way, they are much easier to work with than one who has trouble making decisions. Give me a bride who is picky and knows just what she wants, and I will make her happy!

As for the TV show, I take issue with the whole idea of glamorizing bad behavior. Weddings should be FUN occasions…and mine always are.